On an overcast mid-May afternoon Kilve entertained a Curry Rivel team that were sitting pretty at the top of the league. After winning the toss, Kilve skipper Gary ‘Stoner’ Stone elected to have a knock, and it was Cris ‘T2YLO’ Taylor and Jay ‘Cletus’ Darrell who opened the batting.

Taylor was soon underway with his customary clean but hard hitting sending the ball to the boundary. Darrell, however found it hard going and was soon walking back to the hutch (caught behind) after troubling the scorers for just 6.

Taylor was joined at the crease by Ed ‘Mr Wiliton’ Martin and together they both started to score freely, although its fair to say Taylor was the more aggressive hitting anything pitched up to the fence with increasing regularity.

Martin, although slower scoring had reached 34 before he was bowled by Tilley attempting the sweep.

Skipper Stone walked to the crease but wasn’t with Taylor for long as a couple of balls later Cris played an uncharacteristic mow across the line (ahem!) and was bowled for 93, an innings that saw him bludgeon every curry rivel bowler to the boundary with ease.

James ‘Badger’ Payne joined stone in the middle but the pair were literally together for two balls before Stone hit a full hunger back to skipper Tilley for a big fat quacker. To be fair the ball should have been treated with a filthy slog over mid wicket for a maximum, but stone tried to play straight and found his demise. Serves him right, maybe next time he’ll give it some filth!

Glen ‘the human rattle’ Manchip was next in and he was looking in great form, scoring 12 in no time at all thanks to his behemoth of a bat. Unfortunately he was out off yet another slow and loopy full bunger, caught right on the boundary rope by a good catch at pace – ‘shit gets wickets’ has never seemed more apt!

Young Chris ‘loverman’ James joined Payne at the wicket and the pair got the runs flowing until Payne was well caught by the keeper standing up, nicking a fine edge through off a length ball that popped.

Mark ‘can’t be arsed’ Girling was next in, and in all honesty, you’ve probably never seen a more uncomfortable innings in your life. He faced 6 balls and invented his own shots to each one of them before he was bowled, thankfully, putting an end to his misery!

What followed can only be described as a moment of pure class. James was joined in the middle by Phil Sylvester who had just obtained a brand new piece of willow. Unbeknownst to Phil the H sticker on the handle didn’t mean heavy, but harrow – he had only gone and bought himself a kids bat!

Despite endless ribbing he managed to score a healthy 12, including a huge six, yes six off a child-size bat before he was bowled, leaving Quinton ‘balsa bones’ Button to help James push the score past 200 and maximum batting points, the Kilve innings ending on 205 with James unbeaten on 19 and Button on 5.

After a cracking tea courtesy of Kelly Stone, the Kilve attack opened up with the dream pairing of Ryan ‘Wendy’ Penwell and ‘Cletus’.

Both bowlers hit their straps from the off and although it was Penwell who made the breakthrough in the fifth over (Tilley caught for 5), it was Darrell who did the damage, bowling a sustained spell at a good lick he beat the bat endlessly but only managed to snag two in the wickets column.

Both bowlers ended their opening barrage with two wickets apiece, leaving skipper Stone and ‘Fisher Price bat’ Sylvester the role of maintaining the pressure. Although Stone went for 17 off his first over they didn’t disappoint, both bowling with great accuracy and giving the opposition batsmen no quarter.

Sylvester was unlucky to end his spell wicketless as he had one batsman caught behind off a marginal no ball but their was no doubting the champagne moment as Stone took his first ever hat trick.

He had Wilkes caught for 6, Crosbie bowled through the gate and followed it up with the stumping of Champion as the batsman overreached and lost his balance. To say Gary was excited was an understatement, he even managed to crack a smile!!

With the match heading only one way the skipper introduced two new bowlers in Payne and Girling. Payne comprehensively yorked Judd for a duck and Girling made up for his earlier hilarity with the bat when he trapped Allen plumb in front to end the Curry Rivel chase somewhat adrift on just 95.

It was a great team performance with everyone chipping in. Quinton even managed to avoid injury in a game for the first time since 1983!